So recently I've been thinking. All my life, I've been told, don't do drugs, don't drink, be a good girl. And now I'm a bit older. Granted, I'm not an adult, but I am given many freedoms that I didn't used to have. I've made new friends, some who aren't such great influences. I used to have a solid group of people that I could go to for advice. But now, looking back and reflecting, so much of this advice is hypocritcal. So many of the people I thought I could go to, the people that I trusted w/ my life, gave many details too that I probably shouldn't have shared, lie to me, all the time. They tell me to not do activites that they partake in all the time. As is pretty typical for an Indian teenager, I'm not supposed to date. My parents have told me that, but truthfully, my parents arent' that huge of an influence on me. They tell me something, and I'll probably listen, but the people that I go for advice, when they told me not to date, I listened. And now, not only are they in serious relationships, but they blatantly lie to me and say they aren't. So why should I listen to them? Hell, if I want a boyfriend, I'm not going to let anyone stop me. If I want to drink or go smoke or whatever, why should they stop me, if they do it themselves? I don't fear my parents as much as I fear these people who know more about me than anyone. These people that I've trusted w/ my life, only to find out that they've been lying to me the whole time. I need to learn to start living my life my way, w/o asking people about what they think, or what I should do. I need to be ME. And only I can find out who that is, if I'm always asking people what to do, I'll be living my life as someone else, not as ME. I need to stop looking for approval.